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How to Heal from a Toxic Relationship and Attract Real Love

December 17, 202410 min read

Dive into the powerful link between your heart and brain, showing how heartbreak can block you from attracting the love you truly deserve. When trauma happens, it leaves behind "wounded ideas" in your brain and blocks in your heart, causing you to repeat unhealthy relationship patterns. But by practicing techniques like breathwork, you can heal these blocks, activate the body’s reverse feedback loop, and align your heart and brain with love and openness. This healing journey will help you break free from old patterns and open yourself to the healthy, fulfilling love that’s waiting for you, promoting healing from a toxic relationship.

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Toxic Relationships Healing and Open Yourself to the Love You Deserve

Hey everyone! Let’s dive into a topic that touches all of us deeply—how our past heartbreaks and emotional pain can literally block love from entering our lives. It’s easy to think of heartbreak as something that just hurts our feelings or makes us more cautious about love. But I’m here to show you that there’s a much deeper, scientific reason why heartbreak can actually prevent love from coming our way.

There’s a powerful connection between your heart and brain that plays a massive role in this, and once you understand how these two work together, you’ll be able to break free from the old patterns that are keeping you stuck. We’re not just talking about thoughts and feelings here—we’re talking about real changes in your body and energy field that determine what kinds of relationships you attract. How to heal from toxic relationship is key to this process, as it allows you to clear those old blocks and open yourself up to genuine love.

In this article, I’m going to take you through how your heart and brain interact, why trauma creates blocks in your heart, and how you can heal to open yourself up to the love you deserve. Let’s get started on this journey together, because I know this is going to transform how you view love!

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The Brain and Heart: A Dynamic Duo in Love

First, let me help you understand your brain and heart's roles in love and relationships. Most people think love is all about the brain, thoughts, memories, and expectations about relationships. But here’s what I want you to know, the heart is just as crucial. Your brain helps create ideas about the kind of relationship you want, but if your brain has gone through tough experiences, like a painful breakup, rejection, or neglect, it holds onto that pain.

This is what I call a “wounded idea” of love. I’ve seen this over and over with people I work with. When you’ve been hurt before, your brain starts to subconsciously believe that love equals pain. Even if you consciously think, ‘I want to be loved,’ your brain might still be sending out negative signals because it’s clinging to old wounds. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for healing after a toxic relationship, and it’s wild how powerful the brain is in shaping your reality without you even realizing it!

Now, let’s talk about your heart. I like to think of the heart as the vibrational center of your emotional experience. It’s not just an organ that pumps blood—it’s an electromagnetic powerhouse. In fact, the heart’s electromagnetic field is much stronger than the brain’s, and that means it’s the primary source of the energy you send out into the universe. If your heart is radiating fear, insecurity, or pain, guess what? Those are exactly the types of relationships you’re going to attract, which makes toxic relationships healing all the more important.

Here’s the important part: your heart and brain are always communicating with each other. If your brain is stuck in a loop of painful thoughts, your heart will match that energy. This is why, after heartbreak, you often find yourself attracting similar negative patterns, it’s because your heart and brain are aligned in that pain. Learning how to heal from toxic relationship is crucial here, as it helps break this cycle by changing how you think and feel. By aligning your heart and brain with positive beliefs and emotions, you can attract the kind of love you truly deserve.

Notice the thoughts your brain produces and how they affect your heart's emotional state. Write down any negative patterns you notice, this is the first step toward shifting your vibration.

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How Trauma Creates Blocks in the Heart

Now, let’s dive into how emotional trauma doesn’t just affect your mind, it actually impacts your heart physically. When we go through something painful, like rejection, betrayal, or loss, your heart doesn’t “break” in the literal sense. What really happens is that your heart creates an energetic block, almost like a shield, to protect you from getting hurt again. And that block is what stops you from fully giving or receiving love.

Let’s break it down: when you experience a traumatic event, your heart goes into self-preservation mode. It’s like your heart says, ‘I can’t go through that again,’ and puts up a wall. This wall is necessary to protect you at the moment, but if you don’t learn how to heal from toxic relationship trauma, that wall stays up long after the pain has passed. I call this a ‘heart block,’ and it’s something so many of us carry without even realizing it.

A heart block can manifest in two ways:

  1. Emotional shutdown: You might struggle to let anyone get close to you, and you tell yourself, ‘I don’t need love.’ But deep down, you’re still longing for it.

  2. Clinginess: On the flip side, you might latch onto anyone who shows you even a little bit of affection, out of fear that love is scarce.

Both of these responses keep your heart vibrating at a low frequency, a frequency of fear. When your heart is stuck in survival mode, it can’t vibrate at higher frequencies of trust, openness, and joy. And that’s why you keep attracting relationships that only reinforce your wounds and leave you feeling unfulfilled.

But here’s the truth: you can break down those blocks. You have the power to create a safe space for your heart again. Identify the emotional walls you've built around your heart and acknowledge the potential for healing.

The Reverse Feedback Loop: Healing Through Breath and Body

Now, I want to share one of the most powerful healing tools with you—it’s called the reverse feedback loop. Most of us think that our brain tells our body how to feel, right? Like when we’re scared, our brain sends signals to release stress hormones, and our heart starts racing. But here’s the cool part, your body can also send signals back to your brain and change how you feel emotionally.

This is where breathwork and somatic therapy come in. These practices take advantage of the reverse feedback loop by changing the way you breathe or how your body feels. When you slow down your breathing, you’re sending a message to your brain that says, ‘Hey, we’re safe. There’s no danger here.’ Your brain listens and calms down, allowing your nervous system to relax. This process is essential for toxic relationships healing, as it helps create a sense of safety and promotes emotional well-being.

I’ve seen how transformative this can be in how to heal from toxic relationship experiences. After trauma, your body is often stuck in a pattern of fear or stress, and breathwork helps you break that cycle. As your breathing slows, your heart starts to follow, and your brain gets the message that it’s okay to feel calm and safe again.

This process creates a positive feedback loop—one where peace and calm replace fear and anxiety, and that opens up space for your heart to heal. When you practice this regularly, you’re not only healing emotionally, but you’re also attracting healthier relationships into your life.

Try incorporating breathwork into your daily routine to help signal safety to your nervous system.

meditating on a yoga mat

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People

One of the biggest frustrations I hear from people is this: ‘Why do I keep attracting the wrong people?’ You want a healthy, loving connection, but somehow you always end up in toxic or emotionally unavailable relationships. Here’s why—your brain and heart are aligned with the wrong energy. When both are wounded, they seek out relationships that confirm your deepest fears about love.

Let me break this down step by step:

  1. Wounded Idea: Your brain, shaped by past trauma, holds onto the belief that love is painful or that you’re unworthy of being fully loved.

  2. Heart Block: Your heart, still carrying emotional scars, builds a protective block. But remember, that block doesn’t just keep out bad love, it keeps out all love.

  3. Unconscious Attraction: Because your brain and heart are vibrating on a low frequency of fear, insecurity, or scarcity, you’re unconsciously attracting people who match that energy. These are often emotionally unavailable partners who can’t give you the love you deserve.

  4. The Cycle Repeats: Without learning how to heal from toxic relationship patterns, this cycle continues. Each new relationship reinforces the same pain, and you stay stuck in this cycle of toxic love.

But here’s the key: when you start healing, especially when recovering from a toxic relationship, you shift your vibration. You stop attracting people who match your pain and start drawing in partners who align with your new, healthier energy. Analyze past relationships to identify patterns that reflect your fears and beliefs about love.

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The Importance of Aligning Your Brain and Heart

Now, let’s talk about brain-heart coherence, this is the most powerful tool for attracting love. When your brain and heart are vibrating on the same frequency, that’s when the magic happens. But if your brain wants love and your heart is blocked with fear, there’s a disconnect. And that disconnect is what keeps you stuck in unhealthy patterns.

Here’s how to start aligning your brain and heart:

  1. Acknowledge Your Wounds: Recognize the emotional pain you've experienced and seek support to identify beliefs that hinder your ability to love.

  2. Use Somatic Practices: Engage in activities like breathwork and yoga to reconnect with your body, promoting safety and relaxation.

  3. Visualization and Feeling: Regularly visualize the loving relationship you desire and feel the associated joy to shift your vibration.

  4. Practice Gratitude: Cultivate appreciation for existing love in your life to open your heart and attract more positivity.

  5. Be Open to New Experiences: Embrace vulnerability and step out of your comfort zone to foster new connections and personal growth.

By focusing on these practices, you can promote toxic relationships healing and create a healthier emotional landscape. Choose one alignment practice to focus on this week, such as journaling about your wounds or practicing breathwork.

woman journaling outdoors

Conclusion: Reclaim the Love You’re Meant to Experience

So, here’s the truth, heartbreak doesn’t just hurt emotionally; it creates real blocks that keep you from experiencing the love you deserve. But by understanding how to heal from toxic relationship patterns and how your heart and brain work together, you can heal those old wounds and start attracting healthy, loving relationships.

This journey isn’t easy, but trust me, it’s worth it. The more you align your heart and brain, the more love you’ll naturally attract. You don’t have to settle for toxic patterns or fear. You are capable of healing and manifesting the love you’ve always wanted.

Begin your journey today by reflecting on the misalignment between your heart and brain and taking steps toward healing. Your best, most loving self is waiting to emerge!

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